To bang a beefcake

Saturday night, 8:30 PM, plans chalked out for Sunday morning. All excited about traveling in my new car. My mom was in Chennai. She stays away from the city otherwise. We were put up at relative’s house.My relatives had moved into this apartment only two days back. Route map prepared. Scheduled to depart at 8:00 Am. To Stock my mom’s luggage. Pick up vegetables from the market. To go via TTD temple at T.nagra and on the move have darshan of Venky. To pick up my dad, was in Chennai for week long official training. He stayed back at office provided accommodation, so we did not meet him during that week. The Sunday was not an ordinary day. The first Sunday of the Tamil month ‘Aadi’. The goddess’s temple will be fully decorated. As part of the annual festival they adorn a pot of water and turmeric and take it on a procession. As per schedule it was to happen at 12:00 Noon. We had to reach Aminjikarai, where my grandma’s house is located. Right opposite their house is this temple. There is a practice of certain ladies invoking goddess into themselves and dance in exhilaration during the procession. When I was very young I used to fear going near them. I have seen them squeeze a live hen’s neck and drink the blood. They sometimes place their hands firmly on devotees head and bless them. All this will get over by 1:00 PM. My mom handed over a glass of milk and reiterated me with the plans for the Grand Sunday. I said an ‘Hmmm’ while drinking the milk. That was supposed to convey to my mom that it was after all a simple agenda for me. Especially, with my super new i10 that can stack the entire luggage at one go and can vroom at 60km/hr to reach Aminjikarai, flaunting my new car to Venky. ‘What an Idea Sirji’, I sd to myself and slept.

Sunday morning 6:00 AM, refreshed my To-Do-List once and off to get ready. My mom was busy in the kitchen to finish her petty works. 8:00 AM, everything on track. I picked my car keys. Rolled the key rings with my little finger, the typical way the heroes do in the movies. Made a ‘qweek-qweek’ sound with my electronic locking system and announced my departure to the localities in the apartment. Stocked the luggage into dickey. The music system started screaming Michel Jacson’s ‘Beat It’. While my mom was away to market, I carefully reversed my car avoiding the bikes parked on both the sides. After successfully positioning the car for its take off, I thought of giving it a final touch as I was waiting for my mom. Picked my ray-ban from the dash board, blew the dust of the lenses and stylishly put it on. ‘You wanna be tough, better do what you can, lala… so…lala’. The car move ahead about 15feet. BANG.

8:07 AM, people all around me, voicing out their suggestions. One Aunty,’ this septic tank has to be removed from here’, another uncle ‘yes you are right madam, this has always been a nuisance’. The watch man ‘yesterday night itself I wanted to inform sir about this septic tank, I forgot’, two young guys giggling from behind. I bent down to see the fate of my car that just hit the Septic Tank that was built rising a feet above the ground level, which was not visible from inside the car. Tyres flattened, a dent in the chassis railing, the wheel rim twisted and in pity state my brand new car. If only Michale Jackson was alive, I would have killed him to have continued singing even after such an embarrassing situation. My mom was back with fury on her face, yelled, ‘I Knew this was to happen’. By then I had called the Hyundai Helpline, who are known to reach their struggling customers in no time. I assured my mom 15 minutes to set things right. In all probability we could reach Aminjikarai before 12:55 PM

1:30 PM, ‘nenjuukkul peidhidum vaa’, my mobile buzzed, I picked the call and heard, ‘Sir, very sorry, should I take a left or right from Duraiswamy subway?’